March

wind blows quietly
sea sounds beneath my window
the summer begins

Mountain Sunset

what is up with facebook today?  who'd Z piss off?

glorious outside
it's not to hot, not to cold
the day is just right

ocean thunder sounds
water on rocks in grey spring
view colorful art

got nothing to say
just sitting here creating
I meant to do that

changes

random stuff 1

splotches sweet or not
it changes in the moment
what do you see now

tunnel

tunnel  

bright sun sets slowly
the clouds disguise its passage
light the tree branches







So I'm alive... working on that whole self actualization thing.  Not much to report just yet.  I'm alive and stronger than I have been in a long time, yet oddly weak.  I can do stuff but only for short periods.

Not sure what is ahead a few more tests to make sure I'm still cancer free.

 foggy day in Maine
took the dog for a short walk
 a camera, nice


pictures of a dog
pictures of  trees on gray day
gray brings out colors

a mouse in my hand
some more art I do create
I finish the day

6:30 AM
getting ready for the day
time to get going

Sunday in Maine

Madonna with Child

Sunday in Maine spring
today is claiming its name
what an awesome day.

OK so I've decided that I won't put each piece in each relatively active place.  Sadly in some places that means within the last eighteen months.  I will now post different stuff to different places.  still not sure if I will do it but I'm gonna try to do something new each week.  Which means that if you want to see everything I put up you'll have to surf a bit, I'll provide links as I can.  It also means that I'll be paying more attention to some of my more neglected pages.

If you like it please donate something, anything, anytime.  There's a link on the right. For those who already have thank you and your pictures are on their way sometime this summer.  Sorry it takes me so long.

so not always text here.  maybe a haiku.  pretty much always a picture.

tcahf
sky

Warm and Safe

howling wind outside
my feet are a bit chilly
my blanket is warm

Not much to report recuperating very nicely in South Bristol, ME.  Gotta say one of the nicest places on earth.  

Still have a couple of tubes etc coming out of me but they have become routine and are merely an inconvenience.   It's nice to be warm and comfy on a cold, windy night.

Dr's appts tomorrow.  

tcahf

sea sounds loud tonight
waves crash upon the dark rocks
glad to be inside.

you waited how long to start your blog again?

So I spent the last several months in and out of the hospital, including an colonostomy surgery.  Seems I am destined to carry a bag with me for the rest of my life.

Things I have learned over the last few months...
It really important to be hydrated.  I was hospitalized once because I was so dehydrated.
It's also important to eat.  My doctor said I wasn't eating enough, so she snaked a tube down my nose with nutrients.  That was beyond uncomfortable and my throat is just now recovering.
In rehab I learned that exercising really does make you stronger.  I am able to walk longer and longer distances daily.

So I am in my last days of rehab going back to my parents house to finish my recovery.  I still have a lot of healing to do.  I have two wounds from the last surgery that are healing with what is called a wound vac.  It pretty much sucks the nasty stuff from the wounds and allows them to heal from the bottom up.  It is a relatively fast process compared to normal packing a wound but my wounds are quite big.  One of them was  a 14 inch gash in tum 6 weeks ago.  Now it has shrunk to 5 still pretty big but healing quickly every day.

been resting in bed
been off my feet way to long
get back in the game

post surgery.

Surgery was supposed to go fairly quick and easy.  A 3 or 4 hours in the OR and I'm out with an ileostomy bag on my side for a couple of months.  Maybe a day or two of recovery in the hospital to make sure everything went fine.

I went in, the anesthesiologist suggested an epidural and I accept his suggestion.  Seven hours later I'm in recovery with a huge wound on my stomach as well as the ileostomy bag.  Turns out that it's really hard to do laproscopic surgery on a three hundred pound man.

The next week in the hospital is a blur of clear fluids, morphine, a catheter, and doctors looking at the wound in my side with a worried look on their face.

No blog for three weeks
Just not ready to write it
starting again now

Saturday, a week after surgery still in the hospital

 Well things didn't go exactly as planned.  But I've gotten a lot of rest.

early friday before surgery

actually that's just a detail of a bigger piece but I liked it.  Well I'm cleared out.  I hope to be eating at least pudding in the next 48 hours cause I haven't eaten anything for the last 36 hours.

cut out the bad pieces
make whole by cutting away
this will be done soon

Thursday, prepping for the operation

 No gentle laxatives today.  4 ducalax at noon.  7 doses of miralax at 2 and another 7 at 6.  And no eating.  Clear liquids only.

Forturnately, in the morning at least, coffee, sans milk, counts as a clear liquid.  I take mine black so it's OK. 

I do like to eat tho.  and I get to do this every three months for the next year to make sure that I am still cancer free. 

Gotta say that my team is doing everything they can to prepare me for the surgery.  My questions are being answered, most of them are even being anticipated, and even the questions I didn't know enough to ask are being answered.  Turns out they've done this before. 

I'm pretty pleased that this ostomy bag thing is temporary.  Everything I read and hear about it though is that about the time it gets to be routine, it'll be reversed.  I'm OK with that.  Better 50 days than 50 years.

I don't eat today
my bloodsugar is falling
I'll get some fruit juice

Wednesday, seeing the nurse today

So tomorrow I start fasting for my surgery.  Don't talk to me as I'm sure to be cranky.
Not sure what the nurse is gonna say today.  I've tried to do some research on ostomies so that I have a clue and can ask some vaguely intellegent questions.  I've been remarkably unsuccessful.  Course if she ends up telling me stuff I've already found out.  I will not be happy.

spring heading my way
a few frost heaves in the road
bumpy but that's all

Tuesday, puke free since 83, no more

 well I was under the weather last yesterday. Feeling much better today after a good 12 hours of sleep.  Fever broke sometime during the night and I am prolly cleaned out enough for a colonoscopy.  So cleansed and rested I face another day. 

would like a few more hours of sleep but I'll deal.  As for puke free.  Well the last time I puked like that was nearly thirty years ago when I went shot for shot with a friend of mine drinking a fifth of Lawrence Vodka in about 45 minutes.  The day after that was the day I gave up drinking games. 

clearing my system
get ready for surgery
I blame the time change

Sunday morning

 Lovely breakfast.  As I get closer to surgery I realize how lucky I am.  Things really are going well and I am getting essentially what I want albeit in a way that I didn't expect. 

I was watching a video of a fellows first time at Burning Man a few months back and one of the things that struck me was that he said he had the best and the worst time of his life during that period.  He also said that on reflection that those feelings were caused by him and nothing else. 

It was a friend of mine's birthday celebration last night and they took me to see Wanderlust.  I highly recommend it.  Also when I came out of the theater there was a box that said free movie posters.  I picked up the John Carter one.

sunny day outside
warmish heading towards spring
time to hang up coats?

Sarturday, another day closer to slicing

 not much going on.  Slept in a bit.  pancakes for first breakfast. 

tasty days ahead
things are moving along now
sometimes phone it in